8/5/23: The Day We Said “I Do”
“And that’s a wrap!” said the DJ as he queued up “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)”, our closing song of choice. “Everyone please join the bride and groom out on the dance floor one last time.” Right then, time froze still. I looked around, smiled, and let it all sink in. In those final minutes of our wedding reception celebration, standing beside my husband and our closest family and friends, I couldn’t help but feel more loved — and in love — than I’ve ever felt before. After 4,555 days of togetherness as a couple and a decade plus spent growing up alongside one another, it was surreal to sing the words “It’s a love story, baby just sayyyyy “Yes!””, those lyrics so eloquently describing our entire relationship to that point. Months later, as I sit here reminiscing our beautiful wedding day, I know in my heart that this will forever be one of my favorite memories. The perfect end to the most perfect day. A special moment celebrating the newest chapter of our very own love story.
Where do I even start?
Alex and I said our “I Do’s” on August 5, 2023 in the stunning back gardens of Vizcaya Villa in Fayetteville, NC. It was the best day of pure bliss. When I close my eyes, so many vivid memories come flooding into my mind. I remember the smile Alex flashed me leaving the house that morning, his words “Hey, we’re getting married today!” as he enveloped me in the biggest hug. I remember walking out of the curtain with my wedding dress on, the way it felt to have my hairstylist add the final touch — my mom’s wedding veil — my mom beaming with pride beside me. I remember watching Alex turn around in our intimate first look, the way he made me feel like the most beautiful bride with a simple “Wow.” I remember the words I wrote in our personal vows, the way I sealed the letter, just in time, with “To Alex, my husband :)” and shed a small tear at the very sight. I remember someone saying “Alright Jen, it’s go time” as the sound of “The Adventure” started playing through the loudspeaker. I remember the pep talk I gave myself in my head as I rounded the corner — “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.” But most of all, I remember the moment I walked down the aisle, both my parents by my side, all eyes on me, to a piano version of “Lover”, about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Everything around me blurred as I locked eyes with Alex, the realization that we were here, celebrating this moment, our moment, with all of our favorite people. It’s a feeling I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Planning our wedding day
When deciding on a venue, we mulled over a few different places, all local to where we lived. Because we wanted to eliminate the stress of planning a wedding in a different geographic location, we never considered getting married in our home state of Wisconsin. On a whim, Alex recommended we setup a tour at a venue he remembered from an old neighborhood we used to live in. A week later, when we arrived onsite, I knew it would be the place we’d end up choosing. It was fully surrounded by green — trees, plants, flowers — a peaceful oasis hidden from the city streets around it. There were several outdoor gardens, a covered patio, a full bride and groom suite, a cocktail room, and a large air conditioned ballroom. We were sold. We set our date (the hardest part) and formally booked Vizcaya Villa.
In January 2023, I took a trip home for my sister’s baby shower. That weekend, with my mom and sisters (my two bridesmaids), I setup my first bridal fitting at Brandi’s Bridal Galleria, Etc. in New Glarus, WI. I didn’t think I’d find “the dress” that first day, but after trying on several different dresses I didn’t like, I tried on the most comfortable dress I’ve ever worn. It was immediately clear I was buying that dress. Lucky me, I bought it off the rack, so I got to bring it home right away. I hauled it back to NC, glad to have checked that major feat off the wedding checklist.
Call me crazy, but I didn’t hire a wedding planner or event coordinator. I wanted to plan all the details together with Alex. Let me say, it takes a huge amount of effort to plan a wedding. Tears were cried throughout the process. There were times I felt overwhelmed, but I pushed forward, knowing I was responsible for creating the day I was dreaming of, and that really motivated me. The majority of my year in 2023 was spent researching vendors, booking appointments, signing contracts, and yes, spending lots of money. When it came to vendor selection, I didn’t have any fancy processes. I chose to work with people and businesses that matched my wedding vision. If we vibed, I booked. And it paid off — all our vendors came through big time for us on our wedding day.
Getting ready
Alex and I weren’t very traditional about “night before” or “day of” wedding traditions. While our vendors began their preparations for the day ahead, Alex, his groomsmen, my bridesmaids, our officiant, and a few of our close friends ran around setting up all our welcome signs, picture displays, and table decor. It was actually quite fun seeing the way the venue came together, piece by piece. Everyone kept saying I was such a calm bride, and I think our lack of tradition and my lack of needing to be on a strict, over-consuming, hour-by-hour schedule helped tremendously with that. The fact that I didn’t have to spend the bulk of my day "hidden away” made everything feel more casual and stress free. I didn’t have to worry about seeing Alex, Alex didn’t have to worry about seeing me. The way I see it, traditions are traditions are traditions — they’re made to be reshaped and redefined. We made the decision to do our wedding day the way we wanted, and that meant waking up with and spending extra time together.
Back in the bridal suite, everything was go-go-go all day long. I won’t sugar coat the obvious — the bridal suite was a hot mess. We basically moved in, heaving our things all over the place. Bags, clothes, decor, makeup, Chick-fil-a, and more — you name it, it was probably thrown about in there. But what is life if not chaos? We had foot traffic in and out, a baby crying, and my sister Michelle’s comedic commentary as our background noise. In between running around, getting my hair done, and polishing my makeup, I wrote out the last of my personal vows and managed to drink half a mimosa. We didn’t have any sort of matching bride/bridesmaids outfits because that’s just not who we are as people. Instead, we opted for leggings and t-shirts and comfy cozy vibes. As for the guys… well, they were relaxed and ready to go long before us girls, but that’s not a shock, amirite?
The unpopular choice to do my own wedding makeup was the best decision I could’ve made. Sure, it would’ve been nice to have it professionally done, but more than anything else, I really wanted to look like me on my wedding day. I used products I loved and followed my own rules to create the look I wanted. I even helped the rest of my family get ready too. While it’s not super common for the bride to do everyone else’s makeup, let alone her own, it was such a fun project for me to pretty us all up. For my wedding look, I settled on smokey dark mauve eyeshadow, fake eyelashes (I practiced for weeks), bronzy blushed cheeks, and a red lip classic to tie it all together (of course my all time favorite lipstick — people are always complimenting it).
Around 2pm, Shelby, our photographer (Daise Photography), arrived onsite to capture the “getting ready” process. Not long after, Leslie, our florist (Leslie Ivey Designs), walked in to deliver and setup the florals. Though we discussed the color palette and other preferences pre-wedding, I’d given Leslie all creative freedom to design our bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres, aisle markers, and other arrangements. I was blown away — shocked — when she brought my bridal bouquet to me. She captured the colors so well, giving me the big, bright, beautiful bouquet of my dreams. I couldn’t have been happier with the quality of Leslie’s work. We didn’t go overboard on flowers, but the flowers we did have really hit the mark.
Come 3pm, there was one final rush to get everything ready, including me, so I could join Alex outside for a first look before guests arrived. After getting into my dress and slipping on my Birkenstock sandals (no glittery wedding heels here), my mom helped me add my jewelry, including a gifted pearl necklace from my grandma — a really sweet “something old” I was excited to wear. After jewelry, my hairstylist took a moment to add the most sentimental finishing piece — my mom’s wedding veil, a “something borrowed” tradition set by my middle sister. I was so proud to be wearing my mom’s veil. She’s always been my #1 role model and I’m beyond lucky to have her guiding light in my life.
Doing a first look was a must for Alex and me — I would’ve been in shambles had we gone the traditional route. I didn’t know how I was going to react, but as I walked toward Alex, who was turned with his back to me, I felt a tear escape my eye. With my shaking hand on his shoulder, he turned around with the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen. I was so excited to show Alex my dress, the one “surprise” he had to wait until wedding day to see. His eyes went up and down — you could tell he was wowed. I couldn’t help but cry a few happy tears as we laughed, hugged, and shared a kiss. It was such an intimate moment, even with all our family looking on from the glass windows behind us.
Not long before the start of the ceremony, my aunt Pam came into the bridal suite to gift me a very special “something blue”. I wasn’t prepared to cry in that moment, but when she pulled out a handmade blue ribbon she sewed together out of my beloved grandpa’s blue flannel shirt, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Having lost my grandpa, who I grew up very close with, more than a year prior, it felt so good to have a piece of him with me on my wedding day. As we pinned the ribbon under my dress, everyone in the room was crying. I cried. Pam cried. My sisters cried. My mom cried. My grandma cried. We all cried. Then we group hugged and laughed as I ran to the mirror to check my makeup (again). Pam’s gesture went above and beyond my wildest expectations, but I’m thankful she chose to craft it just for me. I’ll keep that part of Bub with me forever and always, a token of his legacy that extends far beyond his physical presence on this earth.
The ceremony
By 5pm, all our guests were settled into their seats, ready for the day’s festivities to begin. If I’m being honest, the aisle moment was one of my biggest stressors leading up to wedding day. Despite my usually extroverted demeanor, I don’t enjoy being the center of attention, it’s an overwhelming feeling for me.
For the processional, we split aisle walking into three different piano songs — “The Adventure” (Alex and his mom, Alex’s dad and his partner, and our officiant), “Anyone” (our bridal party), and “Lover” (my parents and me). It was important for me to have both my mom and dad walk me down the aisle, together representing the biggest support pillars of my life growing up. I know that so many people aren’t lucky enough to be afforded the privilege to have and be close to their parents, but I have a special bond with mine, and for that I’m so grateful. I loved walking down the aisle with my mom and dad — we laughed the whole journey, taking way too long to get to Alex because they both kept stepping on my dress. Plus, my mom is short and my dad is tall, so I had a hard time holding my bouquet low and centered while linking arms with them. It’s a good thing I had my own song, because it took me well into the second chorus to get where I was going.
I definitely had a bit of tunnel vision as I walked down the aisle. I could only see Alex — everything else was second to my focus on him. Because I knew I couldn’t get through personal vows without crying, we opted to exchange a few sentences and save our longer, more personal vows for our anniversary. I’m so emotional, I cried verbalizing the few sentences I said about how the best years of my life have been the last 12.5 years I’ve shared with Alex. It’s amazing how one single person can bring out the best in someone like Alex does for me. He’s my one true love and I feel so lucky to call him mine.
While I was worried about crying my makeup off, turns out I didn’t even need the tissue I brought along just in case. But I gave it to Alex because he was sweating fiercely in the Carolina sun. It was a beautifully hot day, with temperatures hovering around 90 degrees all day long. We didn’t want our guests to sit and baste in the summer heat for too long, so we kept the ceremony short, sweet, and to the point. Our friend Justin did a truly outstanding job officiating — he was funny and thoughtful and I’m beyond appreciative that he got ordained just for the sake of marrying us.
Before ending the ceremony, we locked up our unity box, an engraved lockbox to be opened on our first wedding anniversary. In it, we added a nice bottle of wine and our longer personal vows, then had Justin snap a Polaroid picture as our own special touch (we won’t see how (or if) the picture turned out until we open the box). On each anniversary going forward, Alex and I will open our lockbox, read the vows, drink the wine, look at the last year’s picture, then repeat for the next year. We’ll write new letters, buy a new bottle of wine, and snap a new picture. I can already tell I’m going to love this tradition — it’s going to be so much fun looking back on our ever-growing marriage in all the years to come.
Just like that, we said “I Do”, shared a kiss, and marched down the aisle as newlyweds. Our recessional music was “Dibs” and there couldn’t have been a more perfect song choice. What a whirlwind it was to see all the people who traveled near and far to celebrate our marriage — family from both sides, Alex’s childhood friends, my first childhood friend, our work families, NC friends, friends from all over the country, and more. The way our people showed up… it meant everything to us. We took a few pictures post-ceremony, then chugged some water and joined our guests for cocktail hour.
The reception
After entering the ballroom to “Memories”, Alex and I knocked out our first dance and the parent dances before making our way to the sweetheart table. Our first dance song was “Timeless (Taylor's Version)” and we split the song “Fast” three ways — part for my dad and me, part for my mom and me, and the last part for Alex and his mom. As I danced with my dad, I remember him asking “Are you happy?”, and I could only beam as I nodded yes. Truth be told, I was the happiest.
In hindsight, our first dance was (probably) a bit long, but we basked in the glory of our four minutes of fame anyway. Together we danced, our first dance as husband and wife, and it took me back to a few days before the wedding when Alex thought maybe we should “practice dancing” so we weren’t awkward come wedding time. As Alex spun me around, time flashed back to the two of us in the lamp lit living room. Out on the dance floor, it felt like we were alone in a crowded room, singing and laughing, happier than ever. If I could’ve bottled the love in the air right then, I would’ve. A timeless moment to accompany our timeless love. This is what I want to remember when my hair is turning gray and Alex and I are looking back on the life we’ve made. We’ve loved so many versions of each other, and will continue to love all the versions yet to come, that I know for sure.
Before dinner, we snuck outside for a few last sunset photos. With all our guests inside the ballroom, we had solo control of the venue grounds, a private session free of onlooking eyes. It was Alex and Shelby and me, the three of us running about, the golden hour glow illuminating our smiles, the love in the air potent as ever. In those 30 minutes, magical moments were captured on camera, no doubt yielding some of my favorite wedding photos.
After dinner (catered by Two Brothers Catering), Alex and I did the honor of cutting into our wedding cake. We used a fork — romantic — and yes, Alex let me smash a small piece all over his face. We didn’t save the “top piece” as many couples do — honestly, neither of us could imagine eating year old cake. The fact we even had a wedding cake was a miracle in and of itself. A few weeks before the wedding, we had a major dessert crisis — our original cake lady ghosted, leaving us scrambling last minute (she wouldn’t answer my calls and emails but she was posting constantly on her Instagram stories — not a good look). Though I was fuming mad (and rightfully so), the situation led us to the wonderful team at Kayla Renee Cakes. Dessert was one of the night’s biggest highlights — everyone loved Kayla’s table of sweet treats!
To close out the evening, our DJ (Five Star Entertainment) gave us the best kind of grand finale — an incredible three hour dance party. From the first song up to the very end, the dance floor was packed full of people. All night long, we danced, sipped a few drinks, and tried our best to socialize with everyone. Core memories were made as a few special song requests made their way onto the DJ’s playlist — “Monster Mash” from the best man (eclectic but classic) and “Misery Business” from my childhood friend (always fun to scream sing together with friends). My sister Michelle got ahold of a karaoke microphone and sang a screeching rendition of “I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor's Version)”. We all laughed. Our friend groups intermingled so well. The room was abuzz — 110% energy — until the very last drop. Our dance floor Polaroid cameras were a huge hit too. One of our post-wedding highlights was looking through the hundreds of Polaroids people had taken throughout the night. Quite literally the best idea.
Many of our married friends gave us the advice to soak up and enjoy every little moment because wedding day passes in the blink of an eye. I concur. As the DJ called out “last song”, I could hardly believe our wedding day was already over. With one song left to sing — “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” — you better believe we made it count. Singing the most quintessential Alex and Jen song, with all our favorite people, I was hit with an unexpected wave of emotion. To this day, my dad still talks about it. He’ll often say “That was amazing. What a good group of people you have. You could hardly get them off the dance floor.” And it’s so true. We have the very best people in our lives. We’re so lucky.
To Alex, my husband, this one’s for you. We were both young when I first saw you, but you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. From now until forever, “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” will always be the song that takes me back to the day we said “I Do”, the best day of our young lives (so far).
Love always!
JBW
PS — A very special thanks to our photographer Shelby for beautifully documenting our special day! We couldn’t have done it without you, Shelby. It was so much fun working with you — your passion for photography shows in your work. Simply beautiful. Thank you!